Legendary Stock Car Driver Dick Trickle died from a self-inflicted gun shot wound last weekend. This driver was considered "The King Of The Short Tracks" and he was so special to all the drivers on the Sprint Cup Circuit today. He was never successful on the Sprint Cup Circuit...as a driver; afterall, he was a rookie at the age of 48, but he was always competitive and fun to watch. His wisdom was respected by all around the garage.
I was listening to the Nascar Channel on Sirius Radio after picking up Marty from the airport. Mike Skinner (another veteran Nascar Driver) and his wife were hosting a call-in show that evening, and Dick Trickle was the main topic on conversation of course. After listening for awhile, I knew something else was bothering Skinner....something much deeper. You could hear the hurt in Mike's voice. I felt the raw emotion as I heard his voice crack on the microphone. Finally, I heard Skinner say that Trickle was in a real struggle with his life AWAY from Nascar. Mike also said that he is currently going through something similar, and so was Ricky Rudd, Ricky Craven and many others among the veteran drivers. As I listened with great interest, Skinner explained what it was like to be a former driver as he tried to hang around the race track on the weekends. He had nothing to do. No one treated him the same. Fans no longer asked for his autograph. The money dried up. No one wanted to give him a chance to race again at any level. He was being pushed aside for younger drivers. Skinner believes he still has so much to offer, but no one wants to give him the chance to prove it. Depression has set in.....you can hear it in his voice. Skinner's wife struggles to understand (what is happening in his head) as he struggles to find himself. Then I said to Marty: "See, that's exactly how I feel!"
Coach Bobby Bowden
Coach Tom Landry
Coach Joe Paterno
Coach Bowden and Coach Landry were both forced out of their jobs before they were ready to go. Coach Bowden stayed away from Florida State for two years during his adjustment to civilian life. Bowden is just now able to attend a football game at Florida State. Coach Landry actually died soon after being forced out with the Dallas Cowboys. Of course, we all saw what happened to the legendary Joe Paterno soon after his dismissal at Penn State. Paterno's wife stated that it was not the Cancer that killed Joe, it was the heartbreak of his treatment by Penn State.
I think I need to see a Psychiatrist. I have no idea what is going on in my head. "Coach" George is who I am. It's what I do. My business calling cards say: "Coach" George Zaleuke. I am known around town as "Coach" George. My business Internet site says "Coach" George Zaleuke. Its been this way since I first started coaching in 1985. My last name is so damn hard to say for the kids, they always just called me "Coach" George, and I happily adopted the name.
I know this all sounds stupid to a lot of you. But even the simple things are a struggle for me right now. I look in my closet and all I see are blue, black, and silver coaching shirts and shorts. My pants are all black or khaki in color. Everything I own has SRHS Football written somewhere on it. My shoes always match the colors of SRHS. I do not have any clothes I can wear in pubic anymore. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person staring back at me....who is this guy? Why can't I just be like a normal person and just say "Screw it" then move on? I feel like I am in prison and I can't escape. It's driving me crazy.
So, what do I do? I find myself hanging around football practices just watching like some sort of pathetic old-timer. I watch intently as the Head Coaches address their teams. I watch the offensive guys as they call their offensive playbook. I look at the defenses and try to figure out how I would beat the coverages. I am like a human sponge taking it all in. But why am I doing it? Hopefully someday I can use all this knowledge somewhere up north this season or next.
I really want to be near the babies.
Later
No comments:
Post a Comment