April 2013
It's funny how things seem to work out. Most of you guys know that when Coach Bethel was let go at Sebastian River High School, most of us (the assistant coaches) decided not to coach this year.....for various reasons. I will not use this blog entry to re-hash the reasons we left. Personally, I was offered a few different positions this season, but I wanted to spend time with my Dad more than ever this year. I really can't say exactly why, but I knew deep down that I needed to take advantage of the opportunity. Fact is that if I did coach this year, I would NOT have spent time with my Dad because of the responsibilities I had with my coaching duties. And you know what? Dad would have said: "Man, do your job and come see me after the season!" I am at peace knowing I spent a lot of time with Pop this year....I have no regrets.
When Dad decided to die this month, he sure made it easy on me to do so. The whole process was an amazing series of coincidences which I can't explain. Is it a coincidence that Dad died the exact weekend I was in town? Was it planned? Why did Dad choose to speak about his death, and his exact wishes on my previous trip to Kentucky? Did he know his death was coming? Did he plan it? Its just weird. It's like he knew his exact day of death and when I was going to be in town. The whole process happened so quickly, but it's like I had a pre-arranged detailed map of what I needed to do after his death in my head. It went down so business like, and everything fell right into place....another coincidence which I can't explain. Weird. My daughter Kristin said she does not believe in coincidences, for many things are just meant to be. Maybe she is right.
Over the past 14 years, the old Man and I have spent many, many hours just floating around on his boat, fishing, and talking about anything and everything. We had no secrets between us. Now, we did not always agree on everything, but what father and son always agree on everything? None that I know of. However, he was my Pops and I respected his words and advice. Over the past few years, Dad made it clear of his SPECIFIC wishes after his death, and made me promise I would make it happen.
After my Dad sold the family business in 1996, he went to work for S.C.I (Service Corporation International.) SCI was/is a huge company which owns a majority of funeral homes and cemetaries across the country and beyond. Many of the "Privately Owned" neighborhood funeral homes in an area are probably owned by a large corporation like SCI, but they are still operating under a local name. Anyway, being in the funeral business like he was, he was sort of jaded on the whole funeral process. Naturally, Dad knew EXACTLY what he wanted done when he was gone.
1. Dad wanted direct cremation. "Don't bury me" he used to say.
2. Dad wanted no services, none whatsoever.
3. Dad said he did not "Give a Damn" about his ashes.
4. Please help Judy and make sure she is OK.
It was made clear that Dad wanted me to have his pontoon boat. However, I did not have any way of transporting it to Florida....he did not have a trailer. The old girl spent her entire life in a covered boathouse in the water. There was a time limit on getting the boat, because the entire boathouse rental was due in December. It was Judy's wish to get the boat moved ASAP to prevent the $1200 yearly slip rental. I went back to Florida and looked for a trailer. This past week I found a decent used trailer which would do the trick nicely. I put on a new set of bunks, and a new set of hubs, and decided to make a last minute trip to Kentucky on Friday afternoon....just to get the boat and leave. I grabbed my dog Raleigh and left town. Much to my surprise, I found out Judy was coming back to the house for a couple of days to run some errands, and pick up my Dad's ashes etc... She has no idea I was coming back either. Another coincidence? Again it's weird.
Kelsey In My Truck 7am.
I drove to South Carolina, dropped off my dog, and picked up my Granddaughter Kelsey (the love of my life.) I invited her to go with me to Kentucky and visit Granny Judy. Together we drove the five hours to Vicco, Kentucky. I started breaking down the boat and preparing it for transport. I really had to un-do everything I had done a few weeks ago to get the boat winterized. I got the boat started and drove it around to the community dock....preparing to load it on the trailer.
Kelsey standing next to Dad's boat.
OK. Again, this is going to be hard to write. Some people may like my decision, some people may think I am an asshole. If you have negative opinions, then quit reading now.
"I want to go back home to Kentucky, live in the mountains, get a pontoon boat, and fish. This is where I want to die!"..... Don Zaleuke (1999- 2013)
After Dad was cremated, Judy had his ashes put into a large urn for herself, and five smaller urns for me and brother and sisters. I asked permission from Judy if I could carryout one last wish of my Father. Judy being who she is, said: "Of Course you can!" That being said, I grabbed Kelsey and guided the boat into the lake channel under the big bridge. I handed the little Urn to Kelsey.
My Girl Kelsey helping PawPaw
I began speaking out loud: "Pop, this is the last thing I can do for you. You always said you wanted to be in the mountains and fish. You said you wanted to die in the mountains. I have Kelsey with me, and we are going to make your last wish happen Pop. Now you can be in the mountains and fish forever. I love you Pop, and I am going to miss you."
Kelsey Helping PawPaw Again.
With that, I told Kelsey to drop the Urn into the 40' water under the bridge. I watched the Urn drop like a rock into the dark, cool water to never be seen again. I was pretty emotional, and Kelsey picked up on it of course. I just wanted to love and hold her for a while. It was soothing having her with me, and I got a warm feeling over my sole knowing I did the right thing and kept my promise to my Dad.
Kelsey and I drove back to the launching ramp and loaded the boat on the trailer. The old boat fit the trailer like a glove the first time.... Another coincidence? I think not!
Big Bubble on Tire.
Other than a tire failure, I got the boat back to Florida without incidence at 8pm Sunday night. I can't wait to get her in top working order again. Pop would like that.
I will close out the blog tomorrow night.
GZ
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